


evil eye

by gh0steses



Category: BlazBlue
Genre: Character Death, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Nightmares, angst i guess im not good at this categorizing shit, time to get real sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-05
Updated: 2019-03-28
Packaged: 2019-09-07 14:41:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16855888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gh0steses/pseuds/gh0steses
Summary: Three times Ragna woke up terrified and one time he didn't.





	1. some people get a freak outta me

**Author's Note:**

> man watch me write the parts of this out of order  
> i already have started to but w a t c h  
> might change titles. brain machine broke and theyre just franz ferdinand lyrics for now

The scene is exhaustingly familiar.

Perfect blue sky. Vibrant green grass. Hot day. Walking down to the stream to bring water back to the church. Boring activity, begrudgingly done. Typical day. Then Ragna crests the hill leading back to the church and the illusion of it just being a usual day is shattered by the winding column of black smoke, then the church in flames when he's high enough for it to come into view. He runs as fast as his legs can take him and then some, dropping the pails he was carrying and almost tripping more than a few times in the process. By the time he's there his lungs feel like he's inhaled a fine glass powder, and the smoke doesn't help, but he can't stop moving. His mind screams for him to run in the opposite direction, as far as possible but he won't. He _can't_. There's too much at stake. The heat is stifling, as if he's been trapped in an incinerator, left to burn with a bunch of trash like some people would argue he should. He has to find Jin and Saya. God knows if the Sister got them out, but he isn't going to wait and see. He charges into the church, and would head straight for their shared room, if not for something in the hall.

The body of the Sister. That he very nearly stepped right on. There's no sign of injury, just some blood running from the edge of her mouth and the fact that she's in a burning building and not hightailing it the fuck out of there. Even if she weren't dead, Ragna's much too small to drag her outside. Horror fully strikes him a little after the moment of recognition and he gapes in shock for too long because he doesn't know how else to react. Fear almost gets the best of him until it occurs to him that his siblings are almost definitely in here and he has no time for this now. Stepping carefully over her, it's a straight shot to where he hopes Jin still is, and Saya definitely should be since she's sick. He sees Jin and the barest shadow of an unfamiliar figure behind him and rushes over, placing his hand on Jin's shoulder to get his attention when he doesn't respond to Ragna's shouting. All too fast, something knocks Ragna off his feet and he tries to get up, but his body won't respond. His arms shake from moving, much less his feeble, failed attempt to get up, until he registers something wet seeping into the edge of his shirt and he manages to lift his head enough to look down. The blood pooling at the end of his arm doesn't make any sense. Everything is hazy from the heat of the fire and inhaling all the smoke, so he _has_ to be seeing things, right? There's nothing there.

 _There's nothing there_.

The realization hits too hard and Ragna's screaming before he can even string together the coherent thought that his arm is _gone_ and something is _very, horribly wrong_.

When Ragna wakes up, he's still stuck in the memory. He can see in his mind the aftermath; Terumi's taunting, the flames closing in, somehow living through it all and waking up, sobbing and screaming in the rain. Nightmares have been the status quo for years,- and have made him stave off sleep until he was near collapse for a long while,- this one being the most frequent. As often as it happens, and as much as it's gotten better from when he was younger, the panic never goes away. It looms in the corner of his mind, some dark misshapen thing that waits for the right time to descend, and finds it without fail. He can't see a time where he won't wake up disoriented, afraid, and out of breath, at the very least.

Now is no different. He's sitting up, rubbing his face, relieved to not be surrounded by all consuming flame and misery, even though his thoughts still scream for him to run away before it's too late. His heart beats erratically, and his lungs still feel like they're burning from the acrid smoke, but the air is cool and clear of anything his mind is so stuck on insisting is there. He's not a child, he's a grown ass man and he wants to go back to sleep and forget about this, even though that's never how it works.

Something moves beside him and it takes him a second to process that it's Kagura propping himself up on his elbows. “Something up, babe?” is barely comprehensible through a yawn, but it gets the point across.

“It's nothin’,” Ragna says dismissively, flopping down beside Kagura and pulling the blankets back up over himself. Not that it'll help an awful lot. He'll probably end up getting up to do something else later when Kagura's asleep and he's tired of just laying there.

As he goes to pull Ragna closer, Kagura can't help noticing how clammy his skin is. “Do you want me to be this close? You're kinda… Sweaty.”

Being comforted is still difficult for Ragna to get used to, but he's comfortable enough not to vehemently refuse to accept or ask for it. Which he doesn't particularly want to do for the sake of his pride, but he moves closer before he can overthink it and mutters, “Just… hold me.” If he can try anything that'll make him feel better after that, he's game, because nothing else has worked so far save for waiting until the feeling passes.

Nothing with what Ragna just did was inherently wrong, just strange. Very. Kagura does as asked, and he can sort of piece together why Ragna's acting so detached. “Did you have a bad dream?”

There's silence for about ten seconds, which speaks volumes for itself, but a quiet, “…Yes,” still follows. Saying it out loud feels wrong. Acknowledging the _Grim Reaper_ having nightmares has a terrible sense of irony about it.

“What about?”

If anyone else asked, Ragna would've told them to fuck off. Hell, if Kagura asked at any other time he would've told him to fuck off. Maybe a little more politely, but the same sentiment. But he figures there's no point in splitting hairs now and breaks it down for him. It feels unnatural, almost as if there was an unspoken rule that he was never to talk about it, and he just broke it. Then again, nobody that wasn't in some way involved- and didn't already know- cared to ask. When has he been one for following rules, anyway?

“Shit… I didn't know it ran that deep. No wonder you want him dead.” Kagura looks at him like he's a kicked puppy, and it's a little irritating. It almost makes him glad he hasn't told anyone else, because if someone else looked at him like that he'd lose it. He doesn't want Kagura's pity. He doesn't want anyone's damn pity. He wants Terumi to pay.

“I don't just want him _dead_ . I want to _kill_ him.” A very important distinction. “I sorta expected you to be asleep by now.” Ragna doesn't say it out of malice, more of genuinely feeling that talking about this wasn't that engaging. And knowing that sleeping, for Kagura, is nearly a talent.

“…I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that. Be careful with all that revenge stuff, though. I don't want you to get hurt.”

“I'll do what I have to.”

“Hey. No.” Hands tilt Ragna's face upwards, earning Kagura a hard look. “Don't do anything stupid.”

The last thing Ragna wants is to be told what to do. Especially concerning Terumi. He'll deal with whatever happens when it happens- Terumi is his top priority. “But I--”

“You aren't gonna get anywhere if _you're_ the one getting killed instead.” Ragna's silent, but his gaze softens slightly, then he glances away completely. “At least _tell_ me you'll be careful.”

The sincerity in Kagura's voice forces Ragna to rethink his stubbornness. He's still stuck with the notion that nobody would care if he died. For the longest time, that may as well have been true, but it isn't anymore. He thinks of Celica, Noel, hell, even _Jin_ , and how torn they'd all be by his death. Kagura too, of course, but it hadn't occurred to him until now. “…I can try.”

“Thank you.” Ragna starts to get up, but Kagura makes some vague noise of protest,  arms not relinquishing their hold on Ragna as he's pulled halfway across the bed. “Hey. Where're you going…” he says with his lips against Ragna's skin. The thickness of his voice makes it evident he was past ready to go back to sleep.

“I'm not gonna fall asleep,” Ragna says, trying to pry Kagura's arms from around his waist and remember where exactly his clothes went. It's true. He couldn't be more awake right now. Nothing quite like a shot of adrenaline. The bones in his legs feel like they're buzzing, demanding to move, not letting him so much as think of staying in bed. He needs a distraction. “Gonna go for a walk.”

“Ragna, it's like,-” Kagura pauses to yawn, considers checking the clock beside their bed, then decides against it because he doesn't care quite enough to turn over,- “two in the morning. Get back here.”

“Three, actually.”

“You know what I mean. Too early- late-… _whatever_ for that.” Kagura goes from clinging to pulling, trying to coax Ragna back into bed. And he succeeds; Ragna relents to his grasp, sliding beneath the sheets again with a resigned sigh. “You just need to relax, babe.”

“Good luck with that.”

“Just close your eyes.” Kagura shifts closer, placing his hands on the sides of Ragna's neck and massaging the muscles running along either side of his spine. Shoulders raise slightly as Ragna makes a disgruntled noise, scrunching up his nose and scowling. “Too weird?”

It doesn't feel horrible. Just new. His neck is more tense than he realizes. Ragna forces his shoulders to relax and tries to follow suit. “No. It's fine,” he says softly. “Don't see how this is gonna work.”

“At least give it a chance.” Kagura's hands move gradually down Ragna's neck to his shoulders. “If you're still wound up, then you can go.”

A few minutes pass, and Ragna brings a hand up to his mouth to stifle a yawn. Kagura's lips slowly curl upward. “I saw that.”

“You didn't see shit.”

“Babe, you're tired. Let yourself rest.” Then, Kagura's struck with another thought. “Are you scared you're gonna have another nightmare?” It would make sense. It's happened to him before, and he doesn't doubt it'd happen to Ragna, given all the shit he's been through.

Put simply, yes. Ragna's never _gone back to sleep_ after waking up like that, so he has no way of knowing. It never even occurred to him. Not consciously, at least. “ _No_ …”

Kagura frowns. “I'm not making fun of you. You can wake me up if you do, y'know. I'll listen to whatever you have to say.”

Ragna doesn't want to need that reassurance, but it's hard when people tend to treat his emotions like some kind of joke. Few exceptions. Kagura doesn't often, and hasn't in a while, but after his tumultuous relationship with being social, he can't ever be sure. “Cause I'm sure you'd love that. You don't need my sob stories.”

“More than you love waking up like this.”

“… Point taken.”

Kagura takes back his hands, opting instead to slip his arms around Ragna's waist. “Now. Feel better?”

Ragna stretches his neck a little. The tension that was there is virtually gone. As is his restlessness. “Yeah. …Thanks.”


	2. some people can't see what i can see

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy birthday ragna. you get nightmares. sorry this was the thing i was closest to finishing but sometimes that's how it be  
> also man you really forget how fucking gigantic the sword nu impales them with in ct is. like really jesus christ  
> that scar would've totally healed cause of the azure grimoire but let's pretend

_Thunk._

A hollow noise reverberates through Ragna's rib cage as something sinks into his chest. He doesn't really feel it, all he knows is that he can't move. His head lolls downward, and he can already feel a wave of bile and blood creeping up the back of his throat when he sees that there's a sword buried far enough in his chest that he's sure it's run him completely through. He yells in anguish, blood gurgling in the back of his throat as he claws weakly at the thing in his chest, already knowing that he can't get it out. He's too weak. It hurts too much. There's a shriek of delighted laughter, and a sword sprouts from his right arm. A sharp burst of pain radiates from his elbow and it knocks the breath out of him, forcing blood past his lips. More small blades follow suit, just to make sure, and it's almost as if she's taunting him. There's nothing the Azure Grimoire could do for him now, anyway. He has to tell himself he isn't afraid of her, and he knows he's lying. _Sure_ , his psyche shoots back immediately after, when another sword sinks into his thigh, _not afraid. Fucking_ **_terrified_ **. Shrill giggles that he barely registers accompany every sword that gets driven into him, more than he cares to count, and his body stops responding to any attempt he makes at moving. It both has and hasn't stopped hurting; there are waves of dulled sensation before the pain comes back in full force and he wants to scream.

It only stops when Nu draws closer and, frankly, Ragna would rather she kept stabbing him. She gets less hazy as she comes farther into the black tunnel that is his field of view and he wishes he could get away. Obviously she'd be here, but every time he thinks he can deal with her, he can't. Dreams, apparently, are no different. He's never ready. Obscenities are snarled at her before she can start talking, but she ignores them. He doesn't want to listen, he _can't_ , he hates her voice and her face and the way she speaks to him, _everything_ . But she's too close, too intolerably in his face for him to ignore and it makes him sick. So do the things she's saying. He flinches whenever she says his name. He'd kick her away if he could still move his legs. What goddamn right does she have to be like this when she's wearing his sister's face? What right does she have to _exist?_

That piercing, irritating laugh bubbles from Nu again and she summons one last sword, and all Ragna can think about is how much he'd give to not be here, to be literally anywhere else right now. How this shouldn't be happening right now. He can't feel it when it goes through them both, making more blood spill down his chin. His stomach plummets with dread faster than they do into the Cauldron when Nu shoves him over the edge.

Pain blooms up the length of Ragna's spine, ending on the back of his head. Somehow, he's managed to shove himself out of bed, save for his legs. It's a miracle he didn't smash his head on the nightstand a few inches to his left. Falling only made things worse, though, because he's still with Nu, toppling over the lip of the Cauldron, and he'd scream if he weren't hyperventilating as bad as he is. He hasn't been thrust so deep into terror in a long time, longer still from a dream. It takes him a little too long to realize he's not still falling, and that he isn't a living pincushion; he still has to make sure, placing a hand over where Nu's _favorite_ sword had pierced him to reaffirm there isn't so much as a scratch. He's in one piece, splayed out on the floor, and Kagura's looking down at him over the edge of the bed, understandably concerned. It reminds Ragna, in a strange way, of Noel watching him fall, moments before grabbing his hand.

“-na? Are you alright? You screamed. And kicked me.” Kagura's wide awake and more than slightly alarmed. That was a dumb question. Screaming and falling out of bed is pretty much the definition of a problem. At least he can call Ragna out on his shit if he tries to say he's fine.

And, naturally, he does. Now that he's over the shock of the situation somewhat, Ragna's well enough to get up and back into bed. Not well enough that he doesn't tear up and he doesn't have an annoying hazy feeling in his head, but he faces away from Kagura so he can't see and buries his face in his pillow. “'M fine. Go back to sleep.”

“I know you're not.” There's a faint sniffle Ragna hopes he doesn't notice, but no such luck. Ragna feels weight shift behind him as Kagura sits up, placing a hand on his shoulder. He clutches his pillow when Kagura tries to turn him over. “Babe, really…” he sighs, gently easing the pillow out of Ragna's grasp.

Ragna grumbles, furiously rubbing his eyes as if he weren't crying too much for it to make a difference. Kagura pulls Ragna into his arms and Ragna freezes, his breaths beginning to come in short, shuddering gulps. He _wants_ to be held, but it's hard to distinguish between Kagura and the memory of Nu clinging to him right now. The very base of his esophagus burns, and there isn't much he can do about it other than hope that he isn't going to vomit. “Let go,” he murmurs shakily. If he could, he'd back away himself, but he can't move, save for the slightest frightened quiver from his brain's arbitrary decision to keep torturing him. He can almost feel the swords sticking through him, blood seeping into the sheets and gushing across Kagura's skin.

Kagura pulls back, giving Ragna a worried look before he takes Ragna's hand, interlacing their fingers. “This alright?”

Ragna relaxes, and it's like his whole body sighs in relief. It only helps a little bit, but something is better than nothing. The fogginess in his head starts to dissipate. “Yeah.” He squeezes Kagura's hand, shifting to rest his head on his free arm, clearly not caring enough to wipe away the last few tears rolling down his face. He realizes, absently, Kagura's never seen him cry before, but he's too distraught to care that much.

“Nightmare?”

Ragna nods.

“What about?”

“That _thing_ Izanami has. The ‘Sword of Izanami,’ or whatever. Nu. Her.” His words are clipped, precise sets of syllables, but Ragna's voice gives away the fact that she makes him more uncomfortable than he wants to let on.

“Your sister's one of those _things_ too, y'know.”

“I-” Ragna cuts himself off with a huff. It's easy to forget that Mu exists when she's not right in front of him. “You know I didn't mean it like that. She damn near killed me.” There it is again, the slightest tinge of fear in his voice.

Kagura nearly crushes Ragna's hand in his own. “She _what_?”

“Agh, shit- _what_? You heard me.”

Anger flares to life inside of Kagura, though he knows it's pointless. It's stupid; he's pissed at someone he doesn't even know. That doesn't stop him from wanting to throttle her, make her suffer for almost not even giving him the chance to meet Ragna in the first place. Ragna's voice sounded hollow, afraid. The spaced out look that was in his eyes earlier is equally as alarming, but Kagura can sympathize; he can recognize the look of someone reliving something horrible. He hates that she somehow did this to him; Ragna didn't sound scared even when he talked about _Terumi_. “What did she do to you?”

It takes all Ragna's willpower to not refuse to say anything. “Turn on the light.” Kagura groans weakly in protest. “You can't see it if you don't.” This piques Kagura's interest enough to make him sit up and hit the switch on the lamp beside the bed. “It's barely there but…” Ragna points to his torso as he trails off, tracing a line about a foot long over his skin, spanning from just under his navel to the bottom of his rib cage. “It never goes away, even when Celica heals me. It's gotten a little better, but it looks like this is what I'm stuck with. She ran us both through and tried to drag me into a cauldron.”

It takes a second for him to make it out, but upon closer inspection Kagura can discern the faintest ghost of a scar where Ragna indicated. He can see why he never noticed it. Whatever impaled him must've been massive for there to be this big of a mark.  “Oh my god,” he says softly, and for some reason is compelled to place his hand over the scar. This was the difference between him meeting Ragna and Ragna dying somewhere lost to time and space. Ragna gives him a confused look. “How did you…”

“Noel caught me.” How she hauled him back up remains a mystery that Ragna's grateful for.

“What the hell went through you?” For once, Kagura is unsettled by how many questions he has. He wants to know, but he doesn't want to go too far. “This scar is huge.”

Ragna grimaces. Focusing on this so much is starting to make him panicky again. He takes Kagura's hand away, pausing a moment before moving into his arms to press his face against Kagura's shoulder. “I don't wanna talk about it. Don't like thinking about it even being there,” he mumbles, and Kagura wouldn't hear him if his mouth wasn't practically beside his ear.

Now Kagura feels guilty. He should've known this would bring up bad memories, even if Ragna was willing to talk about what happened at the church. “I'm sorry I asked. As far as I see it, though, it’s proof you beat her. You lived, and that's the most you could've done.”

Ragna gives a grunt of acknowledgement. That statement was actually a little comforting. He waits a moment before adding, “Getting that off my chest… wasn't so bad.”

“I'm glad you told me, then.” Kagura gently runs his fingers through Ragna's hair, murmuring, “I won't let her get you.”

Ragna pulls back enough to glare at Kagura. “Don't make fun of me.”

“I'm serious. As long as I'm around, you don't need to worry about her.”

Ragna places his hands on either side of Kagura's face, eyes wide. “ _Stay away from her_.”

Kagura's eyebrows furrow in disbelief. “What? Ragna, sh--”

“Just do it!” Ragna starts to raise his voice, but thinks better of it. “I don't care what she does to me, she'll fucking maim _you_ if you keep her from me. Please, for the love of god, listen to me. I don't want her to hurt you.”

“She's already hurt you, though.”

“You've never dealt with anything like her before. I have. Just… leave her alone, alright?”

Seeing Ragna borderline hysterical is more than enough cause for Kagura to stop being argumentative. He finally gives in with a soft, “Fine. I will.”

Ragna breathes a relieved sigh, letting Kagura's face go. “Thank you.”


	3. some people wanna see what i see

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the last chapter is probably going up like 10 minutes after this one honestly i wrote it way before this lmao

Everything feels hazy when Ragna wakes up. Kagura isn't there, which is both unusual and alarming. He rarely wakes up before Ragna. And if he does, he lingers in bed longer than he should. There's a commotion outside, which he assumes was what woke him, but when he looks out of the window, it's coming from the lower levels of the city. He shouldn't be able to hear it. The streets are congested with people, packed densely like a clot in an artery, an agitated mass that slowly shuffles forward. Something urges him to see what's going on. It's an uncomfortable sense of anxiety. He  _ has _ to know, but he doesn't know why. By the time he's dressed enough to leave the house, the crowd has moved farther into the city, and when he gets there he only catches the tail end. The noise is deafening. He can't make out any semblance of words, just the angry noise of a dissatisfied mass. Swearing to himself, he takes a few alleys around the crowd and catches a glimpse of what they held aloft. 

A body. 

The shouting of the crowd rings in his ears like a gunshot when he recognizes the body. Kagura's. He collapses to his knees, doing everything he can not to vomit or cry, clutching his ears tightly to drown out the mob. 

Ragna wakes up with his legs tangled in the sheets, drenched in sweat and dread, and on the verge of tears. He can't fend off crying for very long before he gives a choked sob, turning and searching for the comfort of Kagura to shake him awake. It takes a reluctant second for Kagura to give a lazy noise of acknowledgement, slowly opening his eyes. Ragna clings to him, shifting to press his face against his chest. It takes a few moments for Kagura to register Ragna's hiccupy sobs, then a moment more to understand what's going on. He rubs Ragna's back absently as he wakes up, worried when his crying doesn't ease in the slightest. He's never heard Ragna outright sob like this. It makes his heart ache. “I've got you, babe,” Kagura says softly, arms tight around Ragna as he trembles and tries in vain to stop crying. “You're okay.” He can only assume it was another nightmare about Terumi, or Nu, or god knows what other horrible things could've happened to him. Ragna surely has no shortage of nightmare material, even if he's gone a few weeks without one. It seems he was overdue. 

“That's not it.” Ragna has to fight to keep his voice steady. His own breath chokes him. He shivers from the chill of the still, silent air against his skin. Taking a deep breath, he clings to Kagura tighter and manages to croak, “I… I had a dream you died.” He still has the image of Kagura's lifeless body in his mind, and it makes his stomach turn. Seeing people riot and drag him through the streets, though not real, was horrific. Too horrific for him to go into any more detail with. 

It takes a second for Kagura to take in that statement, and another for him to even consider a response. He can hardly think due to the sleep still hanging heavily over his mind, and the shock from Ragna’s admission doesn't help. He almost wants to ask how, but thinking about asking how  _ he _ died when Ragna's so torn up over it seems cruel. And he's not really sure he wants to know the answer to that particular question. Then, he pulls Ragna closer, murmuring, “I'm not going anywhere, Ragna. Promise.” It isn't exactly something he can say in good conscience- they both know how easily that could change- but right now he'd say or do nearly anything in his power to make Ragna feel better. He starts to sit up, pull the sheets back up over Ragna to ease his shivering, but he's dragged back down. 

“…Don't leave me.” Ragna's voice is faintly, heartbreakingly, panicked. “I… I don't wanna be alone right now.” This vulnerability is making him feel so weak and pathetic, but the prospect of Kagura being gone ended up being more terrifying than it should've been. The dream had seemed too real. If he didn't know any better, he'd think this was the dream instead and Kagura would be gone when he really woke up. The thought nearly makes Ragna spiral further into panic until Kagura interrupts it.  

“Like I said, not going anywhere.” Pulling the blankets up around them both, Kagura slips his arms around Ragna again. “I'm here, babe,” he says with a soft sigh. “Is there anything else I can do to help?” Seeing Ragna so upset and not being able to calm him down is almost too painful. By now, Ragna’s full on sobbing has become the odd sniffle or whimper he doesn't bother to hide, but he still trembles in Kagura’s arms. Kagura kisses his forehead, slowly slipping his fingers through Ragna's hair and resting his chin on his head. 

Ragna presses ever closer in return, sighing softly. He can feel Kagura's pulse against the side of his face. It's a comforting reminder that he is still, in fact, very much alive. “Just… be careful, alright?”

Kagura regularly makes his fair share of dumb decisions, but he can't deny Ragna's request. “I will. For you.”


	4. some people put an evil eye on me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> honks and throws confetti. wow i finished it. in the same month as like three other things no less. a march miracle

Kagura's nightmares are never so dramatic. He wakes up, he can't breathe, he compartmentalizes, he goes back to sleep, or lays and listens to Ragna's steady breathing if he can't. It's simple. Thankfully, it isn't frequent enough to be routine.   
This time is no different. A wave of anxiety-fueled nausea and panic rushes over him, also the same as usual. The beat of his heart is more akin to the rattling of a flimsy cage that an irate animal is trying to free itself from with all it has. Like his bones might just give in to the strain and let whatever's in out. He'd get up and pace just to force himself to focus on anything but his body's sudden fixation on making him miserable, but his desire not to wake Ragna and the warmth of their bed beat out the needless burst of adrenaline, though not by much. It annoys him, the way he can't stop himself from quivering the slightest bit when he shifts. His shoulder is asleep. He can't be bothered to check the clock, but it might be too late for him to get a decent amount of sleep before he's supposed to be up. If he can get back to sleep. Everything sucks right about now.   
A few minutes pass after Kagura jolts awake, then Ragna places his hand over one of Kagura's. “Everything alright?” Ragna mumbles, still half asleep. And he'd like to go back to sleep, but he can't until he's sure. It's faint, with no help from Ragna's sleep addled mind, but the shallowness of Kagura's breath is troubling. So is the way his arms damn near crush his waist. Sleep is suddenly much farther from his grasp.   
The simple act of him waking up startles Kagura. He knows Ragna doesn't sleep as heavily as he does, so why is he surprised that he's finally been caught? It was such a minute disturbance that he wonders how Ragna doesn't wake up when he does so much as turn over. He wishes he didn't wake Ragna up; he doesn't want him to worry, and there's no foreseeable way to convince him not to. The fact that Ragna's there in the first place is comforting, though. It's always harder to deal with there being nobody beside him to distract him from the very real possibility of being consumed by his thoughts. “I'm fine.” His voice is strained from the tightness in his chest, how he speaks through it is a mystery to him.   
“That doesn't sound fine to me.” Moving Kagura's arm so he can turn over, Ragna frowns and Kagura averts his gaze with a tired huff, trying to rearrange his expression into something less shaken. “Don't look fine either.” He takes Kagura's face in his hands, brows furrowing in concern. “Kagura, don't tell me you're fine when you're not. You don't have to talk about it if you don't wanna, but I'm not letting you deal with this alone.” He kisses Kagura, brushes his disheveled bangs out of his face. “Let me help you.”  
The panic in Kagura's expression shifts to pure exhaustion because of the toll the sudden spike of fear took, and he presses his face into Ragna's hand. It's not like Ragna's kiss suddenly fixed everything, but… a few more certainly wouldn't hurt. He tries to take a deep breath to help alleviate his lungs’ refusal to work properly. “Babe…” It's hard not to listen when Ragna is so good at stealing his attention with little effort. Everything in him wants to recoil at the invitation for vulnerability, but he forces himself not to. To at least consider it. He trusts Ragna, therefore he deserves to know. Plus, Ragna has been equally as squeamish about opening up over sensitive subjects, so it's only fair. “Alright.” He wraps himself in Ragna's arms, a suffocating blanket of dread settling over him before he can even form words. “My- uh… My parents. Died. Right in front of me. When I was just a kid. And that… that's all I feel like saying,” Kagura whispers, so faintly it would be difficult to hear if their room was anything more than quiet. He can't will himself to say it louder. He hates acknowledging it. He doesn't want to start crying. It isn't really his thing in the first place. The admission makes his stomach twist into an uncomfortable, anxious knot to the point that it hurts. Of the very few things he can't talk to anyone about, it's the worst, no question. ‘Died’ isn't quite right, either. He knows they were murdered, and he's fairly sure it was by a Kohaku. He has to wonder whether or not Hibiki knows.   
Ah, orphaning. A great thing to bond over. Kagura has a knack for saying things that leave Ragna at a loss for words. “I, uh. I'm sorry.”  
That's the same thing the handful of people that know have always said- mostly the people that had to push him into taking up the mantle of his family in their stead. But he can't fault Ragna, because it's hard to say anything else to something like that. Plus, this is about as close as he'll get to someone who went through the same. To a much worse degree, granted, but the general theme is the same. Family suddenly pulled out from under them, leaving a hollow void that they got too used to not having filled. And filling that void with things that aren't exactly the best for them. “Eh. They weren't the best but… You know how I feel.” He's not sure if he'd rather have dealt with his parents’ rigidity or standing in for them at meetings when he was too young to really care. “You're the last person that should be apologizing, hon.”  
“Still.” Ragna's hold on Kagura tightens. “I'm sure it wasn't your fault.”  
“You should listen to yourself.”   
“Kagura--”  
“Ragna, you were a kid. We both were. There wasn't much either of us could've done.” Kagura tilts his head to look at Ragna. “So don't blame yourself.”   
Ragna's eyes narrow. “You shouldn't either, then.”  
That's a response Kagura wasn't expecting. He wants to say that he doesn't, but he knows that's a lie. “You're killin’ me, babe.”  
“Don't be so dramatic.”  
“I can't help it, it's genetic.”


End file.
